


Discordia

by coffeeandcheesecake



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-15
Updated: 2012-06-15
Packaged: 2017-11-07 19:04:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/434356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeandcheesecake/pseuds/coffeeandcheesecake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Monsters aren't the only terrible things in Purgatory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discordia

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a little worried about the characterization and as much research as I did, there are things I don't everything about, so if things seem non-factual, I apologize.
> 
> This is gloriously un-beta-ed :)
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Castiel watches the entrance to the cave with apprehension. Dean has been gone exactly five minutes (he’s been counting the seconds). He had wanted to go with Dean to look for food that won’t bite back, but Dean had insisted that one of them stay in the cave so something else didn’t try to take up residence there. Castiel didn’t argue that, as an angel, he would be better attuned to find edible food. Dean feels mostly useless here, he can tell, and their relationship is still so fragile that he’s choosing his battles very delicately.

 

They only found this cave earlier in the day, and it’s such an excellent hiding place that Dean and Castiel agree that they should stay there as long as they can. It’s beside a river that’s not quite as foul-smelling and putrid as others they’ve encountered, and it doesn’t sap too much of Castiel’s grace to purify it. But as nice as these new accommodations are, being alone in Purgatory isn’t pleasant, so Castiel yearns for Dean’s return.

 

He’s sitting, tired and frightened, in the damp cave, when he sees it. Her. A woman. Castiel starts in fear, but the woman doesn’t move to hurt him. She just stares at Castiel, her eyes revealing nothing. She’s young, with pale skin and long dark hair, and even though she is beautiful, there’s something eerie about her. There’s a shudder in her expression, and it dissolves into a look of pure joy. It rips across her face and as happy as it is, it’s twisted and perverse, and Castiel scrambles to the back of the cave-- it’s not the look of a monster who simply wants to hurt him. Whoever this woman is, she is going to take delight in it.

 

And then, quicker than she had appeared, she is gone. Only terror and fear reside in her wake, and Castiel reaches for the blade he carved from a stone, holding it tightly in his fist.

 

Dean comes back minutes later, holding a few fruits that look like pears but are probably something much more diabolical. Castiel can’t sense anything too sinister, but one never knows. Dean holds one out to him.

 

“You wanna eat first?” he asks. 

 

Castiel jerks his head ‘no’, still a bit shaken by the appearance and disappearance of the beautiful woman. By the look of remembrance on the woman’s face, he feels like he should know her, but Purgatory makes him feel tired and sleepy and his endless knowledge of all the inhabitants of the universe seems very difficult to access.

 

Dean bites into the fruit, makes a face, but keeps eating. He doesn’t express any homicidal tendencies, either (something that has happened to them previously after eating the fruit of Purgatory) so after he’s finished, Castiel eats his. He’s not happy about the fact that he gets tired and hungry in Purgatory; it reminds him too much of his brief and painful stint as a human. The fruit tastes like dust, and it crumbles in his mouth. Even after he eats it, he feels hungrier than before.

 

\----

 

They are discovered the next day, by a vampire who’s hungrier than they are. His bloodlust makes him erratic and weak, so Dean takes him out easy with a solid punch.

 

Of course, nothing dies in Purgatory, so they tip the unconscious vampire into the river and watch as he floats away.

 

“He’ll come back,” Dean says.

 

“He might have been lost,” Castiel says. “Maybe he won’t know how to get back.”

 

“Maybe,” Dean says, and then he shoulders the stake he carved from a branch of one of the most brutal trees they’ve met. “I’m going to find more food.”

 

“Dean, we ate yesterday,” Castiel says, grabbing his arm.

 

“Yeah, exactly,” Dean frowns at him. “I’m hungry, Cas. If that vamp comes back, we’re gonna have to run. Again. And if I’m gonna be running all over this fuckin’ place, I’m gonna need something to eat.”

 

Castiel sighs and lets go. Dean is right, of course. But Castiel has a bad feeling about this. Something is nagging at the edge of his mind, and he wants suddenly, fiercely, for Dean to stay.

 

He almost says it: “Stay.” It’s on the tip of his tongue, about to spill out, but at the last second, he clamps down on it. Dean won’t listen, and he won’t understand the panic slowly filling Castiel from his toes to his fingertips.

 

Dean stalks off into the forest, and Castiel finds himself sinking to the ground, overwhelmed by the blood pounding in his ears. His hands begin to shake, then it travels up his arms, into his chest. His heart is fluttering wildly, like it could stop any moment, and his breath starts to come in short gasps.

 

His mind is suddenly full of what-if’s, even more so than usual: _what if Dean doesn’t come back? What if he does, but he’s angry? What if he kills me? What if he hates me again? What if he leaves me alone in this place? What if we never get home_?

 

He thinks these questions every day, but now, at this moment, they are so all-consuming that they threaten to crush his heart, steal the breath from his lips. This is terror like he’s never known, and he feel so vulnerable lying in front of the cave, his heart slowly giving out.

 

_I’m going to die_ , he thinks, and then that’s all he can think. _I’m going to die, I’m going to die, I’m going to die--_

 

“Cas!”

 

Dean’s face hovers over him, panicked. He finds some relief in the familiar features of his friend, but his heart rate is still way above average and breathing is still far more difficult than usual. Dean hauls him up and drags him into the cave, where he does something Dean doesn’t usually do: he hugs him tightly to his chest.

 

“Listen to my heart, Cas,” he says gruffly. “Breathe with me, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Castiel manages to choke out. He presses his cheek to Dean, feeling the blood thump beneath his skin, trying to match his pulse. After a few minutes, he can feel heart calming and his breaths evening out. He sighs in Dean’s arms.

 

“Thank you,” he says. “I don’t know what--”

 

“It’s okay,” Dean chuckles a little. “Good, old-fashioned, human-style panic attack. Happens to the best of us. I was actually wondering which one of us would crack first.”

 

Castiel realizes faintly that Dean is still holding him up against the wall.

 

“You’re still--” he says, his eyes flicking to Dean’s arms.

 

A look of embarrassment comes over Dean’s face, but he doesn’t let go.

 

“I actually,” he begins, and he blushes.

 

Castiel stares. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Dean blush before, not really.

 

“I came back to talk to you,” he says, meeting Castiel’s eyes. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about-- about us.”

 

“Us?” Castiel says, and his heart starts pounding again.

 

Castiel has long been resigned to his feelings for his friend. Everyone he’s ever known has had some comment to make about it-- Anna, Uriel, Balthazar, even Sam on occasion. He’d be foolish to try and deny it to himself. But for all the time he’s had these feelings, he’s never once deluded himself enough to think they’d be reciprocated.

 

But Dean is looking at him with soft, green eyes, arms still wrapped around him in an embrace like he’s never known, and he doesn’t know what to think anymore, and then Dean leans forward and kisses him, sweet and perfect, and his heart just about explodes.

 

The kiss grows stronger and more frantic, and then they’re on the ground in the cave, tangled together. Castiel knows in the back of his mind that they’re both letting down their guard, which is practically suicide in their current surroundings, but he can’t pull himself away from Dean. The other man’s mouth is like paradise.

 

Dean pulls away first, but the look on his face is pure joy.

 

“I’ve wanted this for a long time,” he says.

 

Castiel doesn’t answer, just reaches up to kiss him again, but in his mind he’s practically screaming, _So have I, you idiot, I never thought you would get it, never_...

 

They wind up lying on the ground of the cave, wrapped in each other’s arms. The ground may be hard and wet, but Castiel has never been so comfortable. Dean gives him one last kiss before nestling into him and whispering, “Sleep.”

 

A small voice in Castiel’s head shrieks, _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ but he ignores it, the warmth of Dean’s breath lulling him to sleep.

 

\----

 

He wakes up to someone shaking his shoulder. Hard.

 

“Cas, wake up!”

 

He opens his eyes blearily to find Dean staring down at him. With a small smile, he reaches for him, but Dean backs away before Castiel can touch him.  


“Cas, you know you can’t fall asleep when I’m not here!” Dean barks at him. “What if something had found you?”

 

Castiel’s brain is still waking up.

 

“But, you were...” he begins.

 

“I know,” Dean sighs. “I almost got jumped by a whole gang of demons. Had to spend the night in a tree to get away from them. Thank god it was one of the nice ones.”

 

Castiel’s brain processes the facts sleepily: Dean spent the night in a tree. Dean wasn’t here last night. Then the other shoe drops; the meaning thunks into place, and he gasps. Dean’s brow furrows.

 

“What?” he says.

 

Castiel can’t breathe. He wonders if he’s having another panic attack, if that’s even what he was having yesterday.

 

“You,” is all he manages to get out. “You... you weren’t here last night?”

 

“No,” Dean says, sounding a little worried. “I left to get food yesterday afternoon. I just got back. What’s going on?”

 

“There’s something that looks like you,” Castiel gasps. “And he talks like you, and he--” _He knows exactly what I want_.

 

“Was he a shifter?” Dean asks, and Castiel shakes his head.

 

“He had your clothes.”

 

“Alpha shifter can do that.”

 

“He knew things, Dean. And not just things about you. Things about me.”

 

Dean looks worried, but he seems more concerned about Castiel’s mental health than his mysterious doppleganger.

 

“I don’t know, Cas,” he says. “Do you think you could have been dreaming? I mean, I’ve had some whacked out dreams since I got here.”

 

“Maybe,” Castiel says, to appease him, but he knows the truth. 

 

“All right,” Dean says. “Since you just got some shut-eye, and we still don’t have any food, why don’t you go out and look this time?” 

 

Dean tosses his spear on the ground and curls up against the wall. Castiel nods and practically dashes from the cave. All he can think about is Dean’s lips on his, solid and real, but somehow a lie. Something was bent on hurting him.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he thinks he sees a figure, but by the time he whips around, it’s already gone. He wants to tell himself that it’s a trick of the light (the light loves to play tricks in Purgatory) but deep inside, he knows it was something else.

 

He scours the surrounding trees for food and finds a type of wood that’s good for chewing. It doesn’t taste awful, either; it has a spicy flavor and when the wood gets soft it goes down pretty easy. It had given them both headaches last time, but at this point, food is food and beggars can’t be choosers.

 

Castiel picks up as much as he can carry and begins to haul it back to their makeshift base. When he gets to the mouth of the cave, he drops the wood with a clatter and his heart drops into his feet.

 

Dean is gone.

 

\----

 

Castiel worries and worries and worries. He’s almost certain he’s going to have another panic attack. Part of him wants to leave the cave, search every inch of this terrible dimension to find Dean. This part of him is certain that Dean has been taken by something terrible. The other part of him reminds him that if Dean went off to find food or drink, he would come back to this spot, and Castiel setting off on his own wouldn’t do anyone any favors. There’s a very small part of him that is sure that Dean has left for good, found some other way to survive where he doesn’t need Castiel’s help anymore.

 

His eyelids are heavy and drooping and the sky is dark outside when he sees Dean’s shape in the mouth of the cave. He springs up, his fists clenched, not sure if he wants to hug Dean or punch him in the face. When he gets close, he sees the torment in Dean’s eyes and decides not to do either.

 

“What?” he says.

 

“You were right, Cas,” Dean says tiredly. “There’s something out there that can make itself look like other people.”

 

“What happened?” Castiel pulls Dean onto the ground and offers him a stick.

 

Dean chews on it listlessly.

 

“I saw Sam,” he says, his voice miserable.

 

Castiel sucks in a breath. “Oh,” he says.

 

“Yeah,” Dean swallows. “I was here, waiting for you, and then Sam was just... here. And he grabbed me and said that he’d been looking for me and he’d opened a portal and we had to get back there right away. And I thought it was him, I really did. He did the silver test and he wasn’t a shifter. And I didn’t realize it wasn’t him, even...”

 

He stops, and he looks angry at himself.

 

“Even,” Cas prompts.

 

“Even when... he told me to leave you behind,” Dean says, his jaw tight, his eyes fixed on the wall. “I said you were out getting food and we should wait, and he told me there was no time and the portal would close before we could find you.”

 

The guilt on Dean’s face suddenly makes sense.

 

“You went with him anyway,” Castiel says quietly.

 

“I wasn’t thinking straight,” Dean says, putting his head in his hands. “Sam was just _there_ , all of the sudden, and I miss him so much, and he just grabbed me and said we had to run, and I did, and then when we were running I started thinking about how Sam would _never..._ and then I looked up, and he was gone.”

 

Castiel doesn’t trust himself to speak. He just sits beside Dean, staring at his hands.

 

“I hate it here,” Dean whispers. “I want to go home.”

 

Castiel aches to touch him, to hold him. That night may not have been real, but he had felt Dean’s body beneath his fingertips, even if it wasn’t really Dean, and now he yearns for it.

 

But he doesn’t move. He offers to take first watch so Dean can get some shut-eye, and fights the urge to sleep himself.

 

\----

 

“We need a code word,” Dean says the next day. “Maybe something in Enochian.”

 

Castiel thinks, and the suggests, “Odvooan. It’s part of an Enochian call. It translates very roughly to ‘truth’.”

 

Dean repeats after him, “Oh-de-vo-oh-ah-na,” and then shrugs, “works for me. I’ll say it at the mouth of the cave and then you say something back so I know it’s you.”

 

“I’ll say ‘niis’,” Castiel says. “It means ‘come ye’.”

 

“Okay,” Dean says. “I’ll be back soon. Don’t let anyone in the cave unless they say that to you, okay?”

 

“Obviously,” Castiel snaps. He hates when Dean treats him like a child.

 

Dean throws up his hands and leaves. Castiel rolls his eyes and then sighs, berating himself. He’s been harsh to Dean for the past couple days, and he knows he’s being unfair. He just can’t shake the gentle feeling of Dean’s lips on his own, and knowing that it wasn’t real, isn’t something they will ever talk about, agitates him.

 

He sits for hours, a careful eye trained upon the surrounding trees. He can sense many things watching him, but as long as they aren’t aggressive, he won’t worry too much about them.

 

Dean comes striding up to the cave just as Castiel is starting to feel a bit tired, a feeling he resents, making him quite irritable. He’s even more unhappy to see Dean with empty arms; being both tired and hungry makes Castiel feel so very, very useless, and he knows that he’s not in for a pleasant night.

 

“Odvooan,” Dean says.

 

“Niis,” Cas replies, and Dean steps into the cave.

 

“Sorry I couldn’t find anything,” he says, his eyes fixed on the ground. “I know you must be hungry. The whole area is barren.”

 

“We’ve still got some of the wood I found yesterday,” Castiel says. “Maybe we should move tomorrow, find another place along this river.”

 

“We could move now,” Dean suggests. “It looked pretty empty when I was out there just now. Might be a good time to find a new hiding place. We don’t know what’ll be out there if we wait until tomorrow.”

 

Dean walks to the mouth of the cave and beckons. “Come on.”

 

“Dean...” Castiel starts. He doesn’t want to move now. He’s too tired to search up and down the river for another place, and it’s dangerous considering neither of them have eaten and they don’t know the area. “I need to sleep. We don’t know how far the river goes. We can go scouting tomorrow.”

 

Dean holds out his hand and grins. “Come on, Cas,” he says. “I’ll have your back, you know I will.”

 

Castiel sighs. “I just... I don’t feel good about it.”

 

Dean comes closer to him.

 

“You know I’d never let anything happen to you, right?” he says softly.

 

“I’d never let anything happen to you either,” Castiel responds. “Which is why I think we should stay _here_.”

 

Dean considers his face for a few seconds, then holds out his hand again.

 

“Take my hand,” he orders.

 

Castiel does so, tentatively. He doesn’t know why Dean is being so insistent. He would suspect that this was the return of the mysterious Dean-doppleganger from the other day, but Dean had given him the code word.

 

“Look,” he says. “I’ve been worried about you since you freaked out the other day. I think we should find somewhere closer to a food source, so we don’t have to separate so much. I don’t like being away from you either.”

 

“I just think we should wait,” Castiel says. “Until tomorrow, at least.”

 

“Cas,” Dean smiles slowly, getting closer. “Don’t you trust me?”  


“You know I do,” Castiel tries to say, but Dean hasn’t stopped moving closer to him, their hands still entwined. Dean’s chest presses up against his, and his eyes flutter closed. Their lips are inches apart, and Castiel wants to lean forward to close the distance, wants to feel him again, just like last time, _like last time--_

 

“ _Wait_.”

 

Castiel shoves Dean away from him. Dean’s eyes are hurt and he reaches out his hands but Castiel smacks them away.

 

“You knew about my panic attack,” he seethes. “You’re not Dean. What are you?”

 

“It’s me, Cas!” Dean presses his hands to his heart. “You know me. Please.”

 

“Then how did you know?” Castiel spits.

 

Dean stares at him, face still pained and sad, but after a moment, it dissolves, and the thing starts to laugh.

 

“I almost got you _again_!” it says joyfully, and then all of the sudden, it’s not Dean anymore; it’s the beautiful dark woman, the one Castiel had seen at the cave’s entrance days before.

 

“You,” Castiel says, fear clenching in his body. “How did you know our code word?”

 

She rolls her eyes. “Please. It wasn’t difficult. Next time you decide on a code word, why don’t you discuss it where I can’t hear you? I’ve been watching you for days, this wasn’t the only information about you I’ve learned.”

 

“Who are you?” Castiel demands. “Why are you doing this?”

 

“You’re an angel, aren’t you?” she asks, the word ‘angel’ falling out of her mouth like something rotten. “I know Judeo-Christian deities are full of themselves, but I thought you at least knew your Greek mythology.”

 

It comes back to Castiel faintly, like a dream. His fear and hunger and tiredness had kept his vast knowledge at bay, but when he searches, he can find her name among the volumes of his mind.

 

“Eris,” he says. “Discord.”

 

She smiles wickedly at him.

 

“But what are you doing here?” he asks. “Goddesses don’t die.”

 

“Of course we don’t die,” Eris snaps. “I came here willingly. I _love_ it here, and my children are so happy. It’s a lovely vacation from humanity; there’s strife on Earth, of course, but there’s far too much harmony for my taste.”

 

“You can move in and out of Purgatory?” Castiel asks. “How?”

 

Eris laughs again, and it’s a terrible sound. “Why would I ever tell you that, angel?” she asks. “You’re just too much fun. I’d like to keep you here forever. My children, Algea and Neikea, can live for days off of your pain and confusion.”

 

“I figured out it was you,” Castiel says weakly. “I knew it wasn’t Dean.”

 

“Only after I almost kissed you!” Eris says in delight. “Again! Oh, my sweet little angel. I can be everywhere at once. You’ll never know it’s me. I’ll make you panic again. I will trick you and scare you and starve you. I will make you forget your little friend, or I will make him forget you.”

 

She moves close to Castiel and raises her hand to his cheek. He flinches at her cold touch.

 

“I’ll give you exactly what you want. You want that man, don’t you? Want him so badly your heart aches with it? I will make him love you, angel. I will make him love you so deeply and so tenderly that you believe in your heart that it’s real, and then I will tear it all away.”

 

“Not if I can help it,” a voice from the mouth of the cave startles them both, but Eris turns her surprise into a sweet, violent smile.

 

“Dean,” she says. “How nice of you to join us.”

 

Dean glares at her with a rage that borders on murderous.

 

“I’ve killed goddesses before,” he says.

 

“None like me,” Eris replies coolly. She throws another grin at Castiel. “Well, I can see I’m not going to get any more out of you today. I had better be off. But I’ll see you again soon.” She brings up her hand to smooth down Castiel’s cheek again. This time he doesn’t flinch, just stares cruelly at her.

 

And then she’s gone, as if she was never there to begin with.

 

In a moment, Dean is by his side.

 

“Are you all right?” he demands.

 

Castiel nods.

 

“Are you sure?” Dean asks, putting his hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “She didn’t hurt you or anything?”

 

“How much did you hear?” Castiel asks quietly, his eyes fixed on the ground.

 

Dean stiffens and removes his hand. Castiel doesn’t look up, but he hears Dean sigh audibly.

 

“Enough,” he answers finally. “Enough to figure out... when she was me, did she...?”

 

“Yes,” Castiel answers.

 

“And did you...?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Dean sighs again and wipes his hand over his face.

 

“I really don’t want to talk about this right now, Cas, but--”

 

“Then don’t,” Castiel moves away to sit down.

 

“But you--”

 

“If you don’t want to talk about it, then don’t!” Castiel snaps. 

 

Dean falls silent again, and Castiel can feel his eyes burning a hole in the side of his head even though he refuses to look.

 

“Fine. Whatever. But I think we should move. She knows where we are and she can look like anything so we should find a new hiding spot.”

 

Castiel whips his head to look at Dean, his eyes wide.

 

“Cas, what--?”

 

“Get away from me!” he yells. “Don’t come near me!”

 

“Cas, shut up, it’s me!” Dean advances, but Castiel scrambles backwards. “It’s _me_! Odvooan!”

 

“Eris knows the code word,” Castiel says angrily. “Get out!”

 

“It’s me!”

 

“I don’t _know_ that!”

 

Dean presses his fists into his eyes and breathes audibly. “My name is Dean Winchester and we met when you pulled me out of Hell on September 18th, 2008--”

 

“Everyone knows that!” Castiel snaps. “Do you know how many creatures she could have gotten that information from?”

 

“Fine,” Dean grits his teeth, his eyes flitting around the cave like the answer is going to present itself in writing on the walls. “Something only we know, something that was just you and me--”

 

There are a few moments of silence while Dean thinks. Castiel curls up against the wall, his eyes fixed on Dean (if it is Dean). Finally, Dean looks up, and their eyes meet, and the quiet seriousness in his eyes makes Castiel suck in a breath.

 

“I promised you I wouldn’t let you die a virgin,” Dean says. “I never told anyone that, not even Sam.”

 

Castiel is quiet, so Dean inches closer.

 

“That was just you and me, right?” he says. “In that old house, the night before we trapped Raphael? I told you I wouldn’t let you die a virgin, and I took you to a brothel, but you made that hooker cry and we almost got thrown out, remember?”

 

“You laughed,” Castiel whispers. “I’d never seen you laugh like that.”

 

“You never told anyone about that night, did you?”

 

Castiel shakes his head sadly. “No. I was... embarrassed, I suppose.”

 

“Embarrassed? Because of the hooker?”

 

“Because of the hooker, yes, but also,” Castiel raises his eyes to Dean apologetically. “Also, because I wanted it to be you.”

 

Dean doesn’t ask what ‘it’ is. He doesn’t have to. He slides down the rock wall and scoots over to Castiel, so close that their knees are touching.

 

“I never told you this,” Dean says, low. “But I wanted to kiss you in the car.”

 

“Dean, don’t. You don’t have to--”

 

“Yes, I do,” Dean shoots his hand out to grasp Castiel’s wrist. “I have to tell you why, Cas. You think I don’t know? You think I don’t feel what’s between us? I have to tell you _why_.”

 

Castiel looks at him, hardly daring to believe this. He’s had this dangled over his head twice already, he can’t bear another lie, can’t bear to have it given to him and then torn cruelly away.

 

“I wanted to kiss you in the car that night,” Dean repeats, keeping his hold on Castiel. “But I didn’t, and then there was Raphael, and that insane future that Zachariah dropped me into, and then Sam was Lucifer’s vessel, and I just couldn’t. Everything was too complicated. And then, I don’t know, Sam wanted me to leave hunting, and I was stupid and thought that meant leave _everything,_ even you and Bobby, and then you were fighting a war, and then you were dead. The time was never right again like it was that night, and I told you once before, Cas... I’m not all here. I can’t do this right now. I can’t.”

 

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Dean,” Castiel says quietly. “I know you, better than most. I know your turmoil, your struggle. You don’t owe me anything.”

 

“I owe you the truth,” Dean says firmly. “And I never gave it to you before, because I was scared. And I’m still scared. I don’t know when we’re getting out of here. I’m completely out of my element. I can’t... start something right now. But, I swear, Cas--” he looks at Castiel completely seriously. “If we get out of here, I swear...”

 

He doesn’t finish the sentence, but Castiel reads it in his face, in the way Dean is rubbing his thumb against Castiel’s wrist.

 

“All right,” he says, and Dean smiles.

 

Suddenly, Castiel’s eyes widen. “When,” he says.

 

“S’cuse me?”

 

“Not ‘if’, _when_ ,” Castiel says excitedly. “Did you hear what Eris said? She moves between Earth and Purgatory. She didn’t say how, but she does it!”

 

“She’s a goddess, though, right?” Dean asks.

 

“Yes, but if she can do it, then there’s a way,” Castiel says. “And if there’s a way, Sam will find it. I’m completely sure of it.”

 

“You have that much faith in Sam?” Dean smiles.

 

“Of course I do,” Castiel says. “You’re his brother. He’s going to do everything he can to get you out.”

 

“You too,” Dean says. “He’s working hard to get you out, too. And when he comes, I promise I won’t leave without you.”

 

“Thank you,” Castiel says, and, in an act of courage, he brings his other hand, the one not held fast in Dean’s grip, up to rub his thumb across Dean’s cheek. “And thank you for... explaining.”

 

“Anytime,” Dean says, grinning, squeezing Castiel’s wrist.

 

They sit like that for a long time, until Dean offers to take first watch so Castiel can sleep. Castiel curls up right there, at Dean’s side, and falls asleep to the feeling of Dean’s fingers in his hair.

 

_I swear_ , Dean had said, and Castiel believes him.


End file.
